What If????

 "She never seemed shattered; to me she was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she's won."

-Matt Baker

Do you know how it feels to be continuously thrashed down??Peeping from another angle,What if you realize that all those times you have been accommodating with people just because you have no idea of their envy towards you???At times I question myself,"What was so wrong with you to be in an obligation to gulp all that vicious fate??

"O Salma, you were such an idiot!!.


I had no idea about the begrudge and hatred they wished to loose upon me!! I had no idea about the evil eyes following me just to get ready to dig out my grave…When I look back to my days,the only dagger that is stabbing me deep and deep are the times Where I could have raised my voice..but didn't,Where I could have shouted..but didn't,Where I could have slammed my doors off..but didn't! O my God,I ain't a clown,I was the entire circus..


Ok, and now what???what if you could rebuke all those moments???What if you could give them the hell they deserve???What if you ain't nice when you should have said who the f** do you think you are talking about???What if you don't want to be feminine in a light dainty way but an evil intense way???What if you don't forgive and forget but hate and remember???What if you f** the bare minimum and yearns for the entire universe???


Yes you could fulfill all your what ifs if you want..But you know what,still you would blabber about those things..You don't want to be mad, but you're obligated to be,almost.It's not about forgiving or forgetting because neither am I Jesus nor do have I Alzheimers..But there is really something you could do…You see,Despite all the sinister acts,darkness didn't win!!!After all the suffering you swallowed, you are still here in all its glory and fame..You still love the world..You still have a fire for your passions and goals!!Everyday you still try and strive to be better than your concealed versions…and If that ain't an answer then what is?????

 We all have a story to tell, so let's make sure that the saviours of the story are we ourselves!!!


"I will wait for a beautiful day that I have made in my imagination."

-Mahmoud Darwish







~✍SalmaAneesaBabu🦋


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Looking through the Window

Have you ever noticed strangers walking through the streets, especially when you're looking out from your workplace? That little world you see through a small window... I've always scrutinized it. Growing up, I daydreamed through the doors of my classroom— the blurred days of my childhood past. Then through the corridors of my college, where Shelley and Shakespeare held hands together, where Che Guevara and Gandhi fought side by side. And now, through the cubicle of my workplace, where ethics and etiquette sometimes collide— and at times, rebel. Sometimes, I wonder about all the alternate lives I could have had— if I were the person standing on the street. The man wandering with a perplexed face... The kids cycling through the roads, making noise... The young man with tangled earphones... The mother singing to her baby in the pram... I wonder— what if I could step into all those virtual realities for a while? To seep into the dreams of each... To be their wish, ...
Read more

A Metamorphosis Interrupted

 "I don’t belong there anymore. That identity of belonging left me a long time ago. And now, here, I don’t even have a name to possess. What a ludicrous irony! I left them to reach here, but I never reached a place where I truly belong. That existential crisis between a necessity and craving is strange… I abandoned the homogeneity of my existence in order to shed my scales and create a new one, but I lost both in the midway. A metamorphosis interrupted… So the question is: why did I pull out of there in the first place? That’s an essay of a research paper. Just scratching the bygone wound and making it bleed doesn’t make any difference. That land where I belong and love is no more than a beautiful illusion for me. And the land where I came is the reality where I should accept myself and move on. But neither of them works out. The final truth is an inconsistent reality — a hanging bridge — where one day, the resonance of nostalgia could break…! Inspired by a famous quote, I could ...
Read more

The Gray Man and My Grey Chimera

For the past few days in a row, I've been lost in the world of movies. Today, my attention was particularly drawn to a movie named 'The Gray Man'. Halfway through, my eyes were drawn to the character bond between Claire Fitzroy and Sierra Six. Even in the midst of those action sequences, a fraction of his affection pierced me. So, as usual, I sank into the ocean of my untold miseries. But why, God, why? Why does this haunt me? But my conscious mind replied back in a moment, 'Don't you remember, darling? The thing you've always craved—melancholy for a brotherhood—that pain is the byproduct of your colossal delusion.' Okay then, let me trace back to the beginning. I was 8 when I first realized the biggest hole in my life: the absence of a Big Brother. At that age, I never knew that this would make me the most vulnerable girl of the millennium in the future. At the age of 12, I became attached to a film actor. Guess who? None other than the Bhaijaan of India—th...
Read more