Mental Health Stigmas and my concealed Confessions

This is what chills your spine when you read an account of a suicide:not the frail corpse hanging from the window bars but what happened inside that heart immediately before

-Simone De Beauvnoir

Fellas,like anyone does, I too believed that killing oneself is like ending a gift and passing your pain eternally to someone else. No, that sentence is not fully correct. Sometimes suicide is better than worse yet bad than good.Killing oneself and trying to stop your life are two scenarios at vertical angles.Because sometimes people like us who wear the drub of life deserves a win.May be we never wanted to die in the first place bcoz it is us who we love most in the world.My say is,even if I suicide don't you dare think that I was fed up with my life.Please understand that I always wish to give my life its best version(yup.may be that was the path destined for me).And I know,not a lot but still a few will miss me as I pass away.But I swear, you should know it was their fault to love me to the point where they can longer accept the irony of my fate.Oh dears,don't u worry,this ain't a suicide note.Listen, To the best of my knowledge I'm not in a maniac or depressed episode.Today I'm who I'm.When I'm doing things(maybe a single pic or video) I have seen people telling me,'Salma,that has gone out of fashion.', 'Salma,that's an old trend,try something new.'But I can't care, BCOZ I LOVE WHAT I LOVE NO MATTER WHAT!!!SAME IN THE CASE OF HATE.

Leave it,

Let's get back to the juncture,some of you , as always will be wondering why the hell am I keeping on recording my chronicles as if I were heard or seen by anyone…No,You may not see me,you may not care about me!But ,these wall and domes are built from the agony of my tribulations..So I bleed my heart into these papers.Now you can assure that this excerpt I have written and the ones I had already carved on this wall and the ones yet to be born…these all are never a product of attention seeking agenda.These are evidences of a life I truly loved and cared no matter what others thought or said.It's a proclamation of a success in a way.


As my scribbling fastens, as my words flows,   I'm growing up.But Dears a special note:"I'm under no suspicion that I ain't a Kamala Das,Virginia Woolf or William Shakespeare;coz they ain't my genre.I call myself a confessional poet.An ordinary village hood girl trying to recreate a more authentic niche for confessional poetry.And these are my truths…My blood and my flesh.And now you can throw a skeptical stone at me; 'Why giving words for suicide and not for life??'. I'm not giving hope for suicide. I'm scratching out the stigma of it.Not all people die of hopelessness.Some are forced to die under the stupid obligated pathos of our society.And today I versify all these for one reason,for one question,for one answer!!where people like us are seldom cared in the right way…where our voices are meek..and where our pains are unheard in the corridors of your sanity.But look,,,

We exist despite all the misunderstandings and overcome every act of your priggishness.Everyone fights for their own survival-Don't we deserve the same?


Reading all these and still being in an unwitting mode is not an option,it's your f***ng choice.You have to get up..and see our truths,see the world through our eyes and may be dare to take care of our insecurities if u wish to lay a heart.


I haven't yet scrawled on the consequences faced in an emotional dilemma.They ain't simple or normal as you think.For example if you see a cancer patient,Would you dare to ask them to avoid chemotherapies and medicines and to be more positive and ask them to watch the brighter side of life?No,you never will; because you are aware of the seriousness of the disease..But what about when it comes to mental illnesses??Do we keep the same approach?? The person may be dying of their anxiety,panicking,extreme mood swings,insomnia,sedation of antipsychotic drugs,everything all at once and you will be still asking them why they are not looking the bright side????It is this same stigma that compels them to hide their disorders and act as if nothing is happening inside.They keep on going like that and one day when you hear their suicide news you will be asking 'They could have atleast shown us a sign!!!'. Ain't I correct??? So the next time when someone speaks about their mental health don't put your speaker on their head with your rubbish motivational speeches and inspirational Tedx talk.

Ask them what they need…Assure them that they aren't alone..If you can't do any of these then at the least please Say them you love and care about them.Let your presence be a fresh air of freedom for them and not a polluted poisonous atmosphere.And let this be your awareness…

P.S.I know I have skipped a lot about the reality of mental disorders and the difficulties.I have deliberately omitted all those bcoz you may not be ready to accept the way we perceive all those..You may not understand the seriousness but that's ok,still I feel valid..Know that My confessions are my life.My life is my signature. 



With Love

SalmaAneesaBabu🦋

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