Unsung Hymns Behind The Wailing Walls

  "But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed."                            Isaiah 53:5 The real torment of crucifixion..The way Jesus Bled…Here when I quote it,it's not about physical excruciation but emotional,mental,spiritual damages...I always wonder how Jesus have beared all this???But I know what it feels like getting blamed for the sin you had never done in the first place..Continuously being laid on the corner of suspicion and despise.At times earlier, I used to think why am I the one who is always cursed in one way or another!!!Why am I the one always walking straight to the slaughterhouse.Back there, crying was my only weapon…I cried and cried till the blood oozed out..!And yet I was detained with their filthy words and ...

  Quotings from Sophie Magdalena Scholl✍ ■"It’s the reductionist approach to life: if you keep it small, you’ll keep it under control. If you don’t make any noise, the bogeyman won’t find you. But it’s all an illusion, because they die too, those people who roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe. Safe?! From what? Life is always on the edge of death; narrow streets lead to the same place as wide avenues, and a little candle burns itself out just like a flaming torch does. I choose my own way to burn." ■"How can we expect righteousness to prevail when there is hardly anyone willing to give himself up individually to a righteous cause. Such a fine, sunny day, and I have to go, but what does my death matter, if through us, thousands of people are awakened and stirred to action?" ■"Somebody, after all, had to make a start. What we wrote and said is also believed by many others. They just don't dare express themselves as we did." ■...

  "The fruit of my soul was eaten mercilessly, but do not fret this loss.I'm becoming a forest in bloom." -SA Quinox For xem,....For my beloved❤,                        One day this Queen will be plunched out of its damned doom arrays.The comfort she finds in her closed walls today,will proliferate into the soul of those light warriors tomorrow.She will open her eyes to a new daybreak while all her dreadful yesterdays will walk into oblivion.As in the epitomes of Paradise,they will sway around her, rhythming with the music of immortal lackeys.This longing and yearning will never fall in vain.The revenant that sutures her cuts and bleeding wounds are yet to arrive..!Yes,they are about to arrive….                         Their advent will freed her from...

 "She never seemed shattered; to me she was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she's won." -Matt Baker Do you know how it feels to be continuously thrashed down??Peeping from another angle,What if you realize that all those times you have been accommodating with people just because you have no idea of their envy towards you???At times I question myself,"What was so wrong with you to be in an obligation to gulp all that vicious fate?? "O Salma, you were such an idiot!!. I had no idea about the begrudge and hatred they wished to loose upon me!! I had no idea about the evil eyes following me just to get ready to dig out my grave…When I look back to my days,the only dagger that is stabbing me deep and deep are the times Where I could have raised my voice..but didn't,Where I could have shouted..but didn't,Where I could have slammed my doors off..but didn't! O my God,I ain't a clown,I was the entire circus.. Ok, and now what???what if you could rebuk...

  PART 2 Dear me, I know it was hard and still is..Growing up as a little girl you always wanted to be an independent woman who will be free from any type of shackles around her.But you got tangled with toxic family relations and lost your way in the middle of it.Eventually you became the very thing you swore to destroy; truly the hunter of the game..And the result?? You started hating yourself for all the things that could have done or evaded.You condemn yourself for the misfortunes and sufferings u had to bear..Inch by inch, you started destructing self.Even though the payoff was hard,somewhere in between you retraced the track and somehow the wound was bygone.Yet the reality hit you so hard by saying നഷ്ടപ്പെടുവാൻ ഒന്നും സ്വന്തമായിരുന്നില്ല എന്ന തിരിച്ചറിവിലാണ് ഓരോ ബുദ്ധനും ജനിക്കുന്നത്. 💚 Note:   I know I was surely in a dilemma.And the least,I don't even knew what made me happy anymore.My therapist asked me to do things and all I could do was putting a question mark at t...

  "Mine eyes are made the fools o'th' other senses, Or else worth all the rest." (Either my eyes are deceived or else they are worth all my other senses put together.)                     - Macbeth,William Shakespeare  >>Today. September 15..Officially I'm 22 now..So happy to witness the love and blessings showering upon me.Firstly,May Almighty bestow all happiness to my parents.Without them I wouldn't be even here, may be even not alive!!! Standing on this verge of life, I see all my past assailing towards me.So far till date nothing was easy.From top to toe, I had to always fight with my fate.My words were stuck between being written and staying unsaid.Yet I never exposed only disguised those in letters..So please come,let's have a ride on the roller coaster of my life stories…》》 Memoirs: Teen life was the best of my entire lifeline,as it has more clear and crisp memorie...

  Feelings are rushing towards me.. As the train moves forward my memories pull me backward.. I know how beautiful these all are... Like I have known this land and breeze and lived like a soul for a thousand years.. The night is calm and mystic yet these rumbling...the penetrating sounds of train..the jerking..the fellows diving in the deep dreams on their sleeper.. Lying here in this sleeper I'm wondering  Am I becoming the person i always wished to be or the one I swore to destroy?? Well that's a dilemma!! Let's float elsewhere..The nights are lonely..passengers are sleeping..Just me and the moving window side scenery.. Even in these murky nights I see the essence of my belonging..My past and future collides at the moment..I'm stuck!! I'm witnessing all these like I had already seen this a million times..why Why am I feeling like this! Idk Time is 2.10... and my vision is slowly fading..But oh god i don't want to leave this feeling..this cool wind,this thought...

  You know, at times I seriously get trapped in certain time loops.For instance One day I wake up and suddenly think about a person or people from the past (maybe 5 or 6 years before) and then I start to keep on thinking about it over and over again until it gets control over my consciousness, until I cease to pacify myself!! And on another day I will be waking up with certain nightmares which I had experienced in my life back in time,but now I will be starting my day with that excruciation for a while and soon in a mo I will come to the realization that it was all a dream.Or sometimes my mind selects a specific person (truly that person or place for me were nothing more than mere shadows and whom I ignored with impudence) and now they all resurge and starts thrashing me as if they were my lifelines all the time.All those frequent black outs,hysterias with sedative sleeps hit me by saying "everything is my fault!!".Thus I start to bear an insufferable guilt over my neck with ...

  "Then I turned and ran.It was only a smile.nothing more.It didn't make everything alright.It didn't make anything alright.Only a smile.A tiny thing.A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight.But I'll take it.With open arms.Because when spring comes; it melts the snow flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting" -The Kite Runner (2003) Well I feel the pain..!But I can't locate the exact reason!! And I don't know if the pain is true or not!!But something stings me so hard!!! When I think about those college corridors now,they seem utterly strange to me..When I think about the friends I had, all I can remember is some random blurred faces…and the memories?? Yes there were a lot of memories.But I never wish to revisit them for a lot of reasons..On one side it reminds me about the yearning I had for all the impossible things..On the other side,I see the irretrievable good times I had spent and the times I ...